Before I Was A Mom

Before becoming the mother of a rambunctious 2 year old I had no idea what I was missing out on.

First off...diaper genie, burp rag, diaper rash and teething were not in my vocabulary nor were they things I ever thought would be a part of my every day life.

Side Note: The diaper genie is an all around good idea when it comes to containing odor but changing the thing is a whole 'nother story. The smell alone has brought me to my knees on several occasions which is why hubby is in charge of disposing these hazardous materials.

Anyways...

Not only have I experienced some really funky diapers since joining The Moms Club but I've also gotten the privilege of feeling the sticky warmth of spit-up running down my back, chest and even a little on my face and of course all over my clothes. I was warned to buy several outfits for her so that I would have plenty on hand without having to wash every few hours for these spit up disasters but I was not warned that I would most likely need more shirts for myself on hand as well...oh and the occasional extra pair of pants for those extra special moments.

I used to take advantage of sleeping through the night not giving it a second thought that this luxury might be brutally ripped away from me in the near future, and regardless of how many times or how long we would be up during our 12am, 2am, & 4am wake up calls, this does not mean that you get to sleep in....oh no, we WILL be getting up anywhere between 6am and 7am.

There are hundreds if not thousands of things I've experienced since Lily was born and a thousand more to come, but I will say that even through the struggles and heart aches thus far I wouldn't change any of it. Of course those sleepless nights and burp rags have passed long ago but there will always be new hurtles that I'm ready, probably not totally prepared for, but ready to jump over when need be. In the mean time I'm enjoying watching her dress up, act silly and run around like a little maniac.

Before I was a Mom -

I never learned the words to a lullaby.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on.Pooped on.Drooled on.Chewed on.Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple little grin.

I never sat up for hours watching a baby sleep.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

-author

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Weekend Wrap-Up

The recent weather change sucks! I am not a fan of the cold, never have been. Maybe it was growing up in North Dakota that made me so bitter towards winter or maybe I just plain old don't like it. Either way I just cannot understand the people that actually look forward to the snow and cold. The occasional 50 degree's here and there is fine, but this 3-6 months of constant cold is almost intolerable. One of these days I will live in a state where the temperature just doesn't drop below 60 and then I'm sure I will have moved onto another gripe to blog about!

Sundays cold did not get us down. We had such a good time snuggled up inside carving pumpkins. Yes, more pumpkins! This time Lily helped. She was a little (and when I say little I mean REALLY) perturbed when I wouldn't let her play with the sharp, pumpkin carving tools but was thrilled when I handed her a big, red sharpie to color up her very own, Lily sized pumpkin!



Despite the streaks and blotches of red sharpie everywhere, it turned out beautifully! She worked diligently on her perfect little pumpkin until she felt it was show worthy and piled it on the other smaller pumpkins we have in our miniature pumpkin patch.

The pirate ship I cockily attempted did not turn out so well but will still do for the approximately 9 kids that will no doubtingly show up. Some of them small and dressed all cutesy or scary in their well thought out homemade or store bought costumes, holding out their decorated bags to collect all the sugar filled candies they will receive, screaming "TRICK OR TREAT", and the rest (pretty much high school kids now) will show up in their regular clothes dawning a grocery sack or pillow case. No "hello" nor "trick or treat", just a mumbled thanks (if you're lucky) as they walk onto their next stop.

Oh yeah! The pumpkin seeds came out fabulously this time! Not one was burnt and they taste pretty good If I do say so myself. :o)

Other than a lazy, pumpkin filled Sunday, our weekend went pretty good.
Saturday night was fun. We had my sister and her man over for drinks and games. 'Asshole' is always fun but we also busted out 'Loaded Questions'. You just never know what kind of weird answers you'll get when playing that game. I must say it's one of the funnest I've played. It's especially fun when you're around new friends...you get to find out exactly what an odd-ball they are!!

Also on Saturday night/Sunday morning...

IHOP is always fun at 2:00am and full of the finest people you'll meet. Where else can you go at all hours of the night and find sobers, drunks, cracked out and dressed up people. The one's dressed up I'd say was just all in good fun to celebrate the Holiday but this time of year is not the only time you'll find these fun, fashionable characters. As far as I'm concerned though....more power to you! I love different, I thirst for different and thrive on different. I love to surround myself with people who are bold, outgoing, loud, opinionated and maybe their cheese has slipped off their cracker just a little bit. I appreciate all the interesting people out there and maybe, just maybe, someone out there finds me interesting too.

TGIF!

Thank god it's Friday! I don't know how much longer I was going to be able to handle working a full day while most of my co-workers, including my husband, got to leave almost immediately after arriving in the office.

It's cold and rainy outside and dammit, I want to be home cuddeled up under a blanket with Lily watching cartoons and occasionally playing with random toys and household items...don't worry, nothing poisonous or sharp, just some tupperware, an old sunglasses case and sometimes a random sock that has lost it's other half. Instead I'm sitting here eating Wild Bill's Black Peppered Beef Jerky and drinking a coke while blogging about basically nothing just to keep myself from physically and/or mentally drifting off.

My Online Meals!

While trying to be sensitive to price and convenience each week, you will receive your answer to “What’s for dinner?” -- including easy-to-follow recipes, a weekly shopping list organized by department, and cooking and time-saving tips.

What makes us different from the rest? You get the recipe and shopping list for 2, 4, & 6 servings so you don’t have to do the math. So no matter what size your family, you’re covered! Let me ask you:

·Are you spending a lot of money on groceries because you think you *might* prepare that for dinner this week?

·Are you tired of wasting time?

·Would you like to have all the ingredients for a weeks worth of meals in your kitchen?

·Would you rather spend time enjoying dinner with your family than worrying about what the meal is actually going to be?

·Are you ready to change the way you do dinner?

Just another manic.....Thursday....?

5:52am

Brandi: "Oh Shit! Andy get up, we're late for work!"

Andy: "It's only six, we have an hour"

Brandi: "Oh...yeah. Okay. I'm going back to sleep for a few minutes"

6:52am

Brandi: "Oh Shit! Andy, NOW WE ARE LATE!!"

So, today I was late for work, again.

Anywho...last night Andy and I carved pumpkins. Unfortunately Lily was not a part of last nights carving party but she's still a little young. I'm afraid the small, contained mess would have been a large, sticky, orangey mess throughout the entire house. But I do think I will go ahead and grab another pumpkin so that she can be a part of it and this time when I cook the pumpkin seeds I will remember to check them a lot sooner to avoid nasty, burnt up seeds.

On another note. I'm currently building up my affiliate/associate profile and will hopefully get those ads onto this page...as soon as I have the time to figure out how I go about doing that.

-

AHHH! I'm at work and I have nothing to do. It's been raining for the last couple days so any work I had is done now. And to make it even better Andy and ALL the other Inspectors are home already. :-( Hopefully I can leave in the next couple of hours.

It's Monday...

My favorite day of the week. (Sarcasm at it's finest!)

I'm still reeling from my 4 day weekend. Being home Thursday & Friday really threw me off. I so desperately wanted to call in sick today also but I knew that would just lead to a downward spiral of guilty depression and feelings of uselessness. So here I sit at work with a large pile of paper work for me to check over and instead I'm sitting here blogging. :o) I have however gotten very good at dividing my play time and work time and do manage to wrap it all up by quitting time.

Our weekend was a slow one consisting of lazyness, a few drinks and mexican food-my favorite. Nothing too exciting which might explain the lack of....oh hell, I can't remember where I was going with this.

Time to get back to work.

Sweet Surrendor

Today I am home from work. I woke up this morning and felt like a pile of...well, you know what I mean. I called the office and told my favorite annoying co-worker that today I will not be coming in. While she proceeded to tell me that it will be hectic at the office while I'm not there I had already started thinking about how I will spend my day. When I hung up the phone I think she was telling me to get better soon, I'm not sure, I barely listen to her most of the time.

The plan:
Pray Lily sleeps in so I can sleep for just another hour or two.
Wake up, call Mom and see if she can watch Lily for the day while I get some much needed rest and work on some house chores.
Run to the grocery store and pick up some pork chops for dinner tonight. I've been hungry for pork chops lately and I know exactly how I'm going to make them.

The outcome:
YES! I got to sleep in until 8:00am! Damn that felt good.
Lily and I got up and each grabbed a breakfast bar and some juice. I called my Mom and YES she will watch Lily for a few hours. So we get dressed and grab a few random things Lily feels must accompany her to Grandma's today. (Everyday it's something different. Today it was a huge bear, I would have rather left at home and an old cell phone of mine that I let her play with.)
And we're off. Conveniently Burger King is on the way so we swing through drive-thru and grab a bacon, egg and cheese croissant and some french toast sticks.

I spent a couple hours over there relaxing and talking with my Mom when I remembered the pork chops, so off to the grocery store I went.
While at the grocery store I couldn't help but notice all the weird looks I kept getting. I'm wondering "what the hell are these people looking at" when it dawned on me...I probably look some what crazy in my pink baseball hat, over sized sunglasses, ratty jeans, Adidas sandals and an over sized tshirt that says 'STOP CHECKING ME OUT'. But, what do I care...at least I know why they're looking at me now. Proceed with shopping.

So I'm home now. I've got my pork chops marinating in a salt & pepper blend. I did clean the kitchen a little bit but I really don't feel up to doing anything else but check up on my various internet ventures and lay down. And on that note, I'm going to lay down. :o)

Camping

I just came in from outside. I didn't want to but had to because 1. I had to pee && 2. I have write.

The fragrance in the air reminded me of how much I love being outdoors, enjoying nature and all it has to offer. Not only was I soaking in the sweet fragrance of the beautiful summer air but also the smell of a fresh burned charcoal grill. During the winter I dream of the days I can sit outside and relax with just shorts and a tank top without worrying about cold ass weather and winds that are constantly trying to blow my hood off.

I long for the North Dakota summers, days. Camping...sitting around a bonfire with the best company imaginable. Cooking brats, burgers, steaks, roasting marshmellows, drinking && talking; remembering the past and dreaming of the future...until, "oh shit, is the sun coming up ALREADY? Maybe we should go to bed" Knowing all along, but in complete denial at the moment, that tomorrow...ahem...today, I will go back to VA, to MY real world where paper work overflows my desk, phone calls bog me down as well as tedious tasks that keep me from clearing all the IMPORTANT paper work from my desk. I will soon end up forgetting my sweet surrender as fast as it came and went && dream of the day my next escape/adventure comes along

Today I'd love nothing more than to plot my shit down on a small, quaint piece of land, setting up camp, casting my line...setting it in my handy, dandy pole holder (thanks Grandpa) and watching for the line to tug while we collect wood for a fire and argue about who should run into town to get more ice while the rest of us proceed to grill up our days catch...by this I mean 'sweet, cheap deal at the local grocery store' and drink whatever is cold at the time.

I just miss those times and can't wait to introduce Lily to the wonderful world of nature. No alcohol included!

a sneak peak

I'm a t-shirt & jeans, beer & wings kind of girl. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy some of the some_what finer things in life. Yes, I like my over rated pink razr that every other girly-girl in this world seems have. Yes I drive a 2008 'soccer mom_mobile' (shhh...to my hubby it's a mid-size sport utility - must say with low-tone 'manly' voice), and yes you will occasionally find me in a so called 'dress up' outfit.

I'm pretty easy going && loud & outspoke at the same time. I'm straight forward and not afraid of letting someone know exactly what I think...I enjoy speaking my mind, especially in public!, and don't care who hears it. But on the other hand...I have my beliefs on religion, politics, etc and you have yours. I won't push mine on you, you don't push yours on me. Deal? Deal.

My life is fast paced most of the time but slow when I need it to be. I work for a Communications company where my husband also works as an FTTP Inspector. I'm the "billing lady", which transfers to anything & everything to do with money, from the smallest office supply or material order to the million dollar jobs we sub out, go through me first. It's a "mans" business that I have been in for years, know a lot about and enjoy what I do and the people I work with. When I leave my full time job I head over to my moms house to pick up my other full time job, my 2 year old daughter Lily, who was and still is the best suprise I've ever gotten. My little woman is my world and always comes first as far as her daddy and I are concerned, oh and her too! She's a very smart 2 year old who amazes me everyday with her precise memory and maturity for her age.

I'm not afraid to admit that yes, I know I am an over protective mom. I'm not going to hide it and I'm not going to make excuses for it. From the moment god ripped my heart out of my chest and laid her in my arms, til the moment I die, I will love, love, love, worry & protect my daughter. And when she's a teenager I will piss her off to no end just like my mother did me, but this time I will understand and she won't, and I'm fine with that as long as my baby is safe.